


Absolution

by clonecept



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-02 10:35:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11507625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clonecept/pseuds/clonecept
Summary: The pendant on the chain around her neck swung forward as if drawn to Kara by the same gravity that Lena once was. In many ways, still was.





	1. One Year Later

**Author's Note:**

> I highly recommend listening to ["Saturn" by Sleeping At Last](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzNvk80XY9s) while reading this.

Morning sunlight glinted off the pendant hanging from the lamp on the far bedside table; a prism with knife-like precision slicing light into Lena's eyes as she roused from slumber. She squinted, a hand reaching toward it, shielding her eyes.

“Good morning!” The sun was so bright and Kara Danvers leaned over through it, effusive and radiant as ever, her glasses perched on her scrunched nose.

“Good morning,” Lena whispered back, her hand gliding through Kara's hair, the palm of her hand brushing against her cheek. The vision disappeared and she sighed, her fingers left clutching the soft silken sheets of the cold empty bed beside her.

* * *

She stepped out from the car, dressed down in dark wash jeans and a faded, frayed grey cardigan under her peacoat, her small weekend bag slung over her shoulder. The heels of her leather boots echoed against the hard stone floor of the train terminal as she ignored the television screens and the muted voices of the broadcasters.

_ Hundreds of people are gathering at Monument Park in anticipation of the one year anniversary of National City's heroine... _

Lena boarded the train and found a private compartment to settle in, the rumble of the train crescendoing into a steady drum. She watched as the buildings gradually faded into the distance, replaced by trees that lined the tracks like an honour guard all the way to Midvale.

She knelt down in the dew-damp grass, brushing off the first crisp leaves of fall from the modest headstone and gently placing a small bouquet of white flowers in their stead.

"Hello, Kara."

The pendant on the chain around her neck swung forward as if drawn to Kara by the same gravity that Lena once was. In many ways, still was.

"I wish we had more time," she whispered as she blinked back the tears that threatened, her finger running along the debossed name.

She clasped Kara's necklace in her hand and tucked it behind her collar as she dragged herself away to stand. She stared at the grave marker, her hands buried in her coat pockets.

"I forgive you."  _ For everything. _


	2. The Day the World Stopped

The scorching summer stubbornly refused to release its grasp, searing right into autumn with a peculiar determination. Kara seemed to revel in it, taking advantage of the weather to spend more time on the large rooftop deck, lounging on a deck chair at the poolside. Lena preferred to lounge under a large umbrella, reading a book — or at least pretending to.

"I've been thinking..." Kara said thoughtfully, "About telling Alex about us."

Lena looked up sharply from her book, letting it collapse against her chest. “Are you sure?”

“I know we've been moving fast and this has been a crazy month but... I just,” Kara exhaled softly, “I feel ready.” Her voice carried a steely undertone that matched her resolute nod.

Lena shifted. The sun had moved and the brazen heat felt harsh against her skin. “Kara...”

Kara sighed, her eyes turning downcast, crestfallen. "You don't think it's a good idea."

Lena's heart squeezed and she tried to soften her hesitation. "No, it's not that. It's your choice, it's always been," she shook her head slightly, "It just sounds like a big step for you..."

"I know," Kara muttered, her tone still bright. "But —" Her phone rang on the side table and she reluctantly broke away with a mumbled apology to answer it.

Lena watched the warm expression on Kara's face slip into seriousness.

"I'll be right there." She ended the call and hurriedly returned, fidgeting with her glasses while wearing an apologetic look. "I have to go," she mumbled as she drew close, "work emergency."

Lena sat up, meeting Kara's lips. "If you don't demand a raise from Snapper, I will."

Kara chuckled nervously, lingering for a hesitant moment before pulling away. "I'll see you later."

She watched as Kara paused in the doorway to look over her shoulder, their eyes meeting with an unspoken understanding: Lena wouldn't ask, and Kara wouldn't tell.

"I love you."

The world stopped in that moment. The smile on Lena's lips faltered. "I..."

"I'm sorry." Kara disappeared.

 

* * *

 

The sun was already sinking below the horizon, slanting shadows across the city as the streetlights flickered on, warming to a soft orange glow. Lena rubbed her bleary eyes as she set down her glasses and checked her phone. She drummed her fingers thoughtfully. It was unlike Kara to not update her for this long.

She hesitated for a moment, then called. It rung to voicemail.

"It's me," she sighed, "just wanted to check in with you. I'm at the office." She leaned back in her chair, the headline on the muted television catching her eye. "Anyway, I'll see you soon." She reached for the remote.

_A large hostile alien is approaching National City with Supergirl in pursuit. Residents are advised at this time to stay inside until the threat is contained._

Her television abruptly blinked off. The lights in her office flickered and died when the backup generator should have kicked in. "What —"

She heard it. And then she _felt_ it.

Lena clutched the edge of her shaking desk and turned around to look out her office window. A hand covered her mouth as she stepped up to the window. "Oh my god."

Titans at war. The deep blue sky dappled with pink grew rapidly darker and crackled with unnatural lightning. The earth heaved and groaned, a crater carving deep into the ground. A blue and red streak shot from the ground, blonde hair glowing in the last remnants of sunlight, straight at the large monstrosity with a heart-stopping eruption.

"Supergirl!"

 

* * *

  

The world stopped overnight. The earth trembled beneath her as she read the only headline that every news outlet could talk about in the morning.

_Supergirl is dead._

Lena took a half step back and reached for her phone, her heart thundering as the sinking realisation she refused to acknowledge came crashing down on her world. Her fingers trembled as she blearily hit the redial button for the umpteenth time in the last two days.

“Kara, when you get this can you please, _please_ call me back?”

There would never be an answer. It was the worst kind of betrayal.

 

* * *

  

Lena sat stone-faced as she stared out the window of her office at the wreckage of National City: blown windows, damaged infrastructure, and rubble. Material losses bearing the scars of battle. The city would rebuild; one anonymous donation would single-handedly fund a new monument for Supergirl and nearly half of the estimated cost to rebuild. But it did nothing to lessen the pervasive sense of irreplaceable loss.

She blinked back unshed tears and composed herself as she turned back to her desk and picked up the phone, dialing a number she had been avoiding all day. The line picked up almost immediately.

"Danvers."

"Hi, Alex. It's Lena. Luthor." She continued when only silence answered her. "I... I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," came the stilted reply.

Lena drew in a breath. "If there's anything I can do, please —"

"No," Alex said through a steady exhale, "Thank you." She cleared her voice. "It's been taken care of."

The silence stretched on. "Okay. I..." Lena bit her trembling lip. "I won't take up any more of your time then." Her voice wavered as she pulled the phone from her ear to hang up.

"Wait. Lena?"

"Yes?"

Alex paused, hesitating. "I'm sorry for your loss, too."

She shook her head, the unexpected acknowledgement catching her off guard. "I... Thank you," she whispered, recovering. She breathed a shuddering exhale, bracing herself. "Was there a body?"

Silence. "Yeah," Alex responded, her voice choked. "We were able to recover her."

Lena clenched her eyes shut. "I'd like to see her."

"I'm not sure —"

" _Please,_ Alex."

A long pause passed before Alex responded, her voice clipped and reluctant. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you."

 

* * *

  

Lena's gaze skimmed over the peeling paint on the rust-covered industrial warehouse as she climbed up the concrete steps, following Alex through a small side door.  The rumbling of a nearby train filled the cavernous space, rattling the thin metal walls and roof, a distant bright light flickering at one side of the warehouse.

Alex slowed to a halt with a slow shaking sigh, hands resting on her hips — a pose Lena was startled to recognise. "She's not..." Her gaze fixed in the direction of the light. "It's how we found her." She swallowed and glanced at Lena. "I'll give you a moment with her."

Lena nodded hesitantly, half-formed words catching in her throat as she watched Alex stride out of the room. She turned her attention in the direction of the stuttering light. The screech of metal on metal painted a streak of sunlight on the floor, leading the way and narrowing into darkness again as the door shut behind Alex.

Her heels echoed sharply against the finished concrete floor as she followed the light, drawing a sharp breath as she stepped up to the table and the iconic red cape draped over the body. A final confirmation that Supergirl and Kara Danvers were one and the same.

Her hand reached for Kara's, dried blood and dirt caked under her fingernails and in the creases of her palms. Lena clasped it gently, momentarily shocked by how cold Kara's hand was. The warmth that always seemed to radiate from her was gone. And so was she.

Lena's shoulders shook, her carefully checked emotion threatening to overflow as she ran her trembling fingers through the blond tendrils of hair.

"Oh, Kara..."

She took Kara's hand and pressed the cold palm against her cheek. The tattered cape shifted from the movement and she drew a sharp breath in mute horror as she pushed it back. Her eyes followed the violent rips and punctures in the fabric, marring the once perfect skin beneath it. Dried blood encrusted the cobalt suit, turning it a ruddy black.

"How could this monster have done this to you?" she whispered, her voice quivering as she examined the full extent of the violence inflicted on Kara's broken body. "You fought so hard. To save us. To save _me._ "

She numbingly pulled the cape back over the body, focusing instead on Kara's serene, sleeping face. She bent down and reverently kissed Kara's forehead, her heart breaking at how cold it felt against her lips. She drew a shuddering breath and stepped back, her gaze lingering on the body for a pregnant moment before she turned and left.

 

* * *

  

The oppressive sun bore down on her, filtering through the withering leaves of the tree she stood under. She kept her distance, partially hidden, as she watched the intimate funeral from behind a pair of large sunglasses as Kara's friends and family made their final goodbyes before migrating to the waiting car.

Alex held the door open and took one last look at the void in the ground where the casket lay. Wiping her damp cheek, her eyes met Lena's and she gave a small, wavering nod before climbing in and shutting the door.

Lena watched as the car rolled away, then slowly made her way to the burial site. She swallowed at the knot in her throat as she peered into the burial vault, the glossy walnut-stained casket peering back.

"I knew, you know," she said softly. "You never had to hide that part of yourself from me."

She knelt down at the edge, the earth shifting under her weight. "I know you were just trying to protect me." Her lips quivered into a nostalgic smile. "You had the weight of so many worlds on your shoulders and you were still always protecting me. I'm sorry that I never let you know that you didn't have to bear that burden.

"You are everything that is good in my life. And..." She drew a ragged breath, "I love you, too."

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://clonecept.tumblr.com) or [twitter](http://twitter.com/clonecept) or leave a comment and let me know what you think!
> 
> Looking for beta-readers/people to bounce ideas off of. PM me if interested!


End file.
